We started March 2020 with sore index fingers from the #BEKIND movement, lightening up social media with messages of support wherever we scrolled.
Barely a few weeks later shopping aisles across the UK were stripped bare, as people’s need to buy 462 times more than they needed, at the expense of others, quickly became the UKs number 1 participation sport!
These 2 extremes have highlighted a real cultural challenge on people’s intentions when the seas are calm, versus their actual actions when the storm comes.
This situation presents a real danger of potential increased cynicism and anger, leading many down a path of self interest, when more than ever, we need to all work together.
The challenge is most of us do not sit at either end of the Mother Teresa to Mike Ashley behavioural scale.
This post is therefore aimed at the majority of us, who are NOT Mother Teresa or Mike Ashley, to offer a constructive approach, so we can support and help others, without feeling we have been mugged off like a out of date cup a soup..
Introducing the 51/49 Relationship Rule…
It’s a really a simple concept… Think of a relationship you have with somebody. The sum total of the relationship for both of you is 100%. Now distribute that 100% across the two of you based on who is putting effort in to make it a positive productive mutually beneficial relationship…
Here are two extreme examples that cause problems..
The 51% / 49% Relationship Rule is a strategy to make sure you have healthy relationships by ensuring you don’t get mugged off, or indeed you yourself, mug off someone… Let me explain Crazy Legs Crane…
This is a healthy mindset to view any relationship and creates a mentality to build relationships where… I would do it for you, because I know you would do it for me!
Whilst I have talked about using a 100% scale, I am not suggesting you create a excel spreadsheet or google doc measuring who contributes what. It is simply a gut feel measurement. After all, you know the score!
If I know you would buy me an ice cream… I would buy you an ice cream with a flake on!
If I know you would buy me a hot chocolate… I would buy you a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows!
If I know you would buy me a Big Mac Meal… I would buy you a Big Mac meal and go large!
Of course at times all relationships require people to step up, but deep down I think we all have gut feeling on both our and the other people’s contribution.
Building on this, when you get two people wanting to be give 51% to the relationship, that’s often where the magic happens = 102%. Remember the old saying, the difference between ordinary and extraordinary is simply a little extra.
The final point is that on top of helping other being the right thing to do, it also makes great sense from both a personal and business perspective…
There is a famous Chinese Billionaire property developer who never takes a majority stake in any business deal.
When he was asked ‘why do you never take a majority stake… he replied
- How do you assess both your and others contribution to important relationships?
- What relationships can you enhance by moving to 51%
- What relationships do you have that are 51%/51% and what is the positive impact?
